Day 4: My Touchstones
Brace yourself this will be a very potentially emotional post. But I need to express that choosing my touchstones for this project-for this version of me- was very easy.
It’s my friends.
Of course it would be my friends.
They’re my found family.
I always loved that trope in media growing up. In the friends who become family that trumps a toxic environment whether it be at school or home. Who support each other and celebrate wins, comfort each other in losses or hardships.
I should clarify that my parents were wonderful. I was raised with love and support for what I wanted to do. They were not the toxic parts of the family-if anything they were the exceptions for their respective sides.
And yes, I use past tense because they are unfortunately no longer with me. Dad will have been gone for eleven years this year and mom just a little over a month as I write this.
Death has a way of showing a person’s true colors. If you have not experienced it yet, I will warn you that I’m sure one day you will. You’ll learn who you can lean on. One uncle told my mother upon his brother’s death (my father’s middle brother) that she was not considered family even though she had been married to my father for over twenty five years. Her own brother has had nothing but venom in his words since she passed.
But you know who’s been here for me the whole time?
My friends.
My friends who were wonderful and lovingly imposed their company so I wouldn’t be alone.
Who ask if I’ve eaten.
Who stay up with me at night when I begin to spiral or end up falling down a social media spiral that is detrimental and redirects me to silly ferret videos.
I would not be the person I am today or able to grow as a person if it weren’t for them. And it’s something that Cassandra who’s grappling with major changes in her life needs.
That support of her friends who are her family.
They are her touchstones.
And to my friends if or when you’re reading this-thank you. And I love you all.
I promise the next post will be happier, for you cannot have darkness without some light.