Reflection: Hunting in the Dark
One thing that a lot of people need to be reminded of when dealing with World of Darkness content is that every character, no matter how much you like or dislike them, is a monster. Grey is a monster, Callie is a monster, and even Diego is a monster. Can we have compassion for them? Yes, of course we can, but keep in mind that each of them is capable of great cruelty and acts of self interest.
Grey put Callie into one hell of an impossible situation, and it was a real asshole move, but considering that they’re both monsters, dealing with more powerful monsters, I think he did act with the greatest amount of compassion possible for him within the given situation. Callie, of course, doesn’t see it that way, but Grey basically called her out and offered her a chance to be part of the team. Just because her options are “be part of the team or die” doesn’t mean Callie is incapable of coming up with a third, more complicated to succeed at, option.
Just as before, I will note that Callie is not a representation of another person, but is like Diego and Isadora, elements of myself that I need to face, and Grey is my opportunity to do so. Where Diego represents a lot of my idealism that is getting disillusioned in the face of the modern world, Callie represents a lot of my holdups with authorities that I trusted in the past that I no longer trust, or at least am growing skeptical about.
I long since have given up trusting official authorities, people who are voted into power, buy their way into power, or are given power by someone who got theirs in such a way. Many of them claim they’ll act in my interest, but serve only themselves, thus earning the ire of entire communities. If you’re unsure who I’m talking about, first of all I’m quite impressed you managed to avoid negative sentiments towards them, secondly check out N.W.A.’s hit song from 1988 and you should get my drift.
Callie represents more of the degradation of my trust in authority figures in my life who are authorities on aspects I know nothing or little about. When I was writing this book, I was working in sales for a cemetery (I think you now understand the inspiration behind Isadora a bit more) and my boss there was mentoring me on how to develop the skills I needed to succeed… or at least that’s what I was told. By the time this chapter was being written, my faith in his noble efforts was eroding away, and the realization that he was playing favorites by giving leads to two other sales people to keep their numbers high, while giving me shit advice and refusing to attempt tapping into new markets (he wanted us to call people we’d already sold cemetery property to in order to see if they wanted to buy more cemetery property, solid sales model if I ever saw one, right?). Every time I raised a concern that it wasn’t working and we needed to try something new, I was dismissed back to the world of cold calling, something that anyone with a cell phone knows doesn’t work.
This was coming off the back of leaving a school because the principal moved me out of the AP class I was teaching to have me work with 9th grade (a grade level I hated working with because it was basically still just working with middle schoolers, but now with a complex because they’re in high school) while leaving my AP kids to twist in the wind for four months after my replacement quit in a week. My trust in those who were supposedly in a position of authority over me was eroding away quickly.
Callie is in that same boat, or at least, is beginning to realize she is. Her trust is in Marcus, her sire and mentor, and at every turn he is putting her into positions she is unhappy and uncomfortable with. Now, sometimes that’s important. Good mentors will push you outside of your comfort zone and make sure you’re growing beyond your current limitations, but the more I reflect on my characters and the time in which I was developing them, the more I realize that Marcus represents these bosses: he is pushing Callie into situations that will benefit him, rather than help her grow. He’s not interested in her development, just his own advancement, and she’s slowly coming to realize that, if not accept it yet.
There are monsters in the dark around Callie: the wight, the Garou, and even her own coterie, but Marcus is her true source of terror. Not because he can snuff her out like a candle, he certainly has the power to do that, but he can do something else to her that is far more terrifying. Marcus has the ability to dictate Callie’s failure or success at achieving her goals. A boss or mentor knows they have that power over you. A single word and you can be promoted, earn the trust and accolades of your co-workers and superiors, or be torn down and blacklisted. We live in such a precarious system where one person is given so much power over us, and many of them expect us to kiss the ring or lick the boot and fall into line because that line is where they’re dropping the breadcrumbs of success they’ll allow us.
Callie represents my urge to fall into that line, and my frustrations as I learned that the only place that line would get me is stuck while I plod the path to someone else’s success or ego. Cracks are forming in the facade for Callie, and you’ll soon see what she does with it, but if you’re beginning to doubt the intentions of those around you, feeling as though they’re using you for their own advancement, pay attention to Callie in the coming weeks, and watch how she handles the inevitable disillusionment. Take what you want from it, and hopefully you too will find the answers you’re looking for to make the decision that’s best for you, and not for someone else.
