Dealing with Character Flaws the World Wasn’t Prepared for.

When I was editing book two the other night, I was on a call with both Timm and Morgan, discussing how each of the characters were portrayed. Andrew was lamenting about his absence causing a story arch the two of them were excited to explore to slide in as DOA, and the two were wondering where that could have gone had things turned out differently. We projected, predicted, and laughed about different paths the story could have taken and how they would have reacted, when suddenly something cold fell into the pit of my stomach. 

Quickly, I did a once over of the book, and even looked into the first book to see if the pattern held. Sudden realization hit me like a truck and I voiced my opinion to the two of them. 

“Guys, I think there’s a problem with timing. When we play the game, you guys develop so much quicker than you do in the book. I think… I think I accidentally made Morgan a bit too passive.”

We looked it over and true enough, we found that Morgan had a tendency to be soft spoken and passive, usually making herself smaller to either placate or protect the egos of her male counterparts. This was made a bit more glaring as she was the only female PC present at the time. Within a couple months of the game beginning, Morgan’s own wants and desires were making themselves known, and she was standing up for herself more often, but that side of her probably wouldn’t begin to show for a few more books yet. 

I wondered why it never occurred to me before, but with how quickly the first few books were written, I was probably more focused on the actual process of writing them while being blinded by knowing more about the characters than any audience would at this given point. I felt foolish, concerned that I made the currently only heroine of the story into someone far too meek for who she truly was, and I felt like I failed both Nicole and Morgan in that moment. 

Much in the fashion of Morgan, Nicole came in and eased my concerns. We discussed how much Morgan grew over the course of her story. How she was raised as a people pleaser and wouldn’t have changed much in the time frame of the story thus far. People would know that it was too soon for her to have overcome her baggage and develop into herself, but her confidence and self-assuredness would eventually come. 

Andrew then poked fun at her a little, reminding her that Morgan is very much Nicole as far as personality is concerned, and she too is a bit of a people pleaser and referee, reminding me that these traits are present in both player and character, so I shouldn’t be too concerned about them showing up in the story. 

But that got me thinking: How many of my friends’ character quirks are presenting themselves as character flaws in the PCs they play? How many of my own quirks and flaws are showing up in the NPCs because they’re so deeply ingrained in who I am? That conversation has me thinking that my own prejudices and flaws may well be seeping into the world overall, and affecting the way that it’s being interacted with both by my players and by my readers. And there’s really only one way to deal with something like that. 

Awareness. 

Awareness is key. Taking the time to look back at the story, edit, and get the perspective of others to help make sure I’m not in an echo chamber of my own thoughts when trying to build upon it as well. One of the worst things I’ve found is that when I’m starting to get tired, I have a habit of trying to continue working. I actually try to bang out a few of these blogs in a day so that I have a few weeks worth of posts available to set up and release. 

The smartest thing to do would be to sit down and write three for the week, set up to post, and then go about my week, not worrying about it until the next week. I am aware, however, that my perfectionist flaw makes me work and work to my own burn out and… suddenly Simon and Damian are making a lot more sense…

Are there flaws in my stories? I’m sure there are, in fact I am aware of a few. Are they fixable? Some yes, some no, but sometimes I just need to accept that worlds are flawed, and that there is no perfection that can be attained. Most importantly, can we make those flaws into a feature? As Jimmy Neutron once said to Goddard after he “played dead,” we’re going to make that bug a feature. 

Morgan, like Nicole, is a lot stronger of a person than you may see at this exact moment, but for anyone concerned about her passivity… don’t be. Have faith in our girl, have faith in your DM, and have faith that the universe will unfold as it should.